Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
