Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
