Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
