I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize