We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
