I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
He has the fingertips of a God
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