Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
