Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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