he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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