She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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