I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
