i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
is it fun? or sober?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
