I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize