My boss' voice literally gives me gas
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
