There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
