did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
