Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
