i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
