i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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