honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
