i don't like sucking hair
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
