I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
