I love black thongs
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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