she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize