Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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