yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
