How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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