YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
