I just saw a hot homeless man
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
