I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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