none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
