i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
