We should be called the Road Head Warriors
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
