Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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