I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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