True but thats because hes a fetus.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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