OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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