New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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