My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize