It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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