For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
