How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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