god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
