Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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