she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
