He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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