Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
