The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
