I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm eating all of the evidence.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
