Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
