i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
