And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
