I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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