batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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