Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
