dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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