I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
