Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
