I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
