Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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