how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize