My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I got chris browned last night
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
