i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
