All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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