He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
