Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
