The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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