remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize