I hate all girls vehemently.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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