ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
