they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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