Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
A+ Viking dick
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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