One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I don't deserve a penis
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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