Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
