There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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