i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
