You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
