Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
