Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize