I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
